When you feel like you can’t hold on, remember this line: “No one is coming.” No one is coming to save you; the only one who can pull you out of the abyss will always be you
Take back the reins of your own life
At certain points in life, we inevitably fall into a slump. Maybe you’ve hit a wall at work that feels impossible to overcome. Maybe a relationship has come to an end. Or maybe it’s a late night spent staring at your bank balance, feeling lost. In those moments when it feels like you’re about to drown, we quietly hope: Will someone come and pull me up? Will a timely rescue arrive? If you’ve ever felt this way, there’s a phrase I’d like to share with you today: “No one is coming.” The first time you hear it, it may sound a little cold, even despairing. But trust that it isn’t negative at all. Instead, it can be the strongest shot in the arm when you’re at a low point in life.
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What “No one is coming” really means
This powerful phrase actually comes from American psychologist Nathaniel Branden. At a psychotherapy seminar, he said to a group of people who wanted to change but hesitated to act: “No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to take responsibility for your life.” It may sound harsh, but at its core, it isn’t saying the world has abandoned you. It’s meant to awaken the sense of agency deep within you. We grew up with fairy tales, and deep down, we tend to believe that when danger strikes, a knight or fairy godmother will appear. But the reality is that we’re adults now. Once you understand that no one is coming, you’ll stop placing your hopes in unknown miracles, luck, or other people, and put your focus back on yourself.
Giving up waiting is where a new beginning starts
When we’re at a low point, it’s easy to fall into a victim mindset. We complain about our circumstances, about the people around us not being understanding enough, and even about fate being unfair. This mindset may comfort us briefly, yet it also takes away our ability to solve problems. Many people going through a rough patch have envied those who seem resilient and able to bounce back quickly. The biggest difference between them and others is whether they know how to take responsibility for themselves.
Once you fully accept the fact that “No one is coming,” you’ll find an incredible sense of calm settling in. You finally realize that rather than spending time waiting endlessly, it’s better to start looking for a way out yourself. It’s like being in a dark tunnel: instead of hoping someone will come looking for you with a flashlight, you decide to feel your way forward in the dark. And the remarkable thing is, once you take that first step, however small, the sense of power that comes from taking charge of your own life will gradually pull you out of the abyss.
3 everyday practices to help yourself through
1. Stop seeking perfect understanding When we’re at a low point, we always want someone to talk to, hoping they’ll understand our pain completely. But the reality is that no one can fully relate to what you’ve been through. Rather than demanding others’ understanding, try journaling or talking to yourself on a quiet evening. Be your own most faithful listener, and accept the vulnerability you’re feeling right now.
2. Make one small decision for yourself every day When life feels out of control, we need to reclaim that control. Start with the simplest things, such as deciding what to cook for dinner tonight or getting up 15 minutes earlier tomorrow to stretch. These seemingly insignificant choices send your brain a clear, powerful message: I can still take control of my life.
3. Focus on “What can I change?” We can’t change the state of the broader economy or control what other people think, but we can decide whether to study tonight or treat ourselves to a relaxing bath. Put all your energy into what you can control, and you’ll find your anxiety decreases significantly while your ability to take action grows.
The next time you’re completely exhausted and feel like life is about to crush you, try silently repeating this phrase to yourself. Understand that you are your own only salvation: no matter how difficult things are right now, as long as you’re willing to pull yourself up, you’ll be able to make your way out one step at a time.
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